Wednesday, October 29, 2008


Why Do I Post on Deenport?

Over the last few years, admittedly I have spent more time on DP than others due to my situation. I think I also have the highest number of posts counting over 7300. Often I have bumped into individuals who have commented on my posting; sometimes with a hint of sarcasm and other times with a genuine interest.

I have at times felt uncomfortable when people have thrown one-liners about my posting habits in an otherwise civilised chat about life. I have found it extremely difficult to grasp at those times when we have been in environments where others are also present or when I have met people after ages or worse still when I have gone out after spending a long while indoors. This was moreso the case a couple of years ago. And sometimes I have found it not nice coming from people 5-10 years younger than me: I am not a teenager, rather someone 30 plus.

I've never really tried to explain myself because I believe that there is no need for explaining my actions to others, who afterall are happily reading what I may post. In fact at times when I haven't posted on DP I have been emailed or texted as to why. I have found it confusing to deal with, especially during the times when my main concern was my health and managing pain.

I've always convinced myself that my Prophet teaches me to make excuses for people when they say things one doesn't like. I have thus assumed that those who when I've met them have made sarcastic remarks to me are just not aware of the function DP has had in my life these last few years. And I hope to continue with this thinking.

I have learnt a lot on this website and it has helped me grow in many ways. No doubt the time since Feb 2005 has been an incredibly challenging one for me. However, I have been the recipient of many blessings through it. Too many to share here. I just received the following email which is one reason why I keep posting on DP:

From: ********
To: tranquilart
Subject: Salams
Date: Wed, 29 Oct 2008 11:54:59 +0000

As Salam O Alaikum Apa

I pray that your well inshallah. I took your emil from deenport.
Although Im not active on deenport I follow thethreads and events on there. I just wanted
to say a big Jazakllah Kheyr for all the advice and support you offer. I was touched by your advice
and support you and many others gave to a sisiter a few days ago. May Allah reward you all immensly and may allah shower you with his mercy and blessings. Ameen

I wanted to ask if you would remember me in you duaas too. I hope you dont mind me calling you apa.

My apologies for the random email which may sound very strange. Ive been meaning to email you for a while and today i thought Idont care how strange i may sound im going to emil my apa and ask her to remebr her sister in her duaas.

Needy of your duaas

P.s. please keep in touch


It's something I have said before: about why I blog.

So this blog post is not to inflate my ego or give my lower self the time of the day.


I know that I could and should write about the many many great things I have learnt thanks to Omar Tufail's dynamic website. However, some things are best preserved for another time and space. My sincere prayers are that on the Day of Accounts, Omar Tufail and his loved ones are greeted with the billions and billions of mountains of hope that his website was responsible for creating through the opportunity it generated for servitude by dots in creation like myself.

Something I intend to blog from the Dowra Sharing at some point is the importance of the blessings we have all been given in life. One of the first things we were taught was that if we don't use our blessings for the good of humanity, then these blessings will be taken away from us.

Like you, I fear that one day soon I shall be in my grave. In fact my 6 year old niece made me think last night. We were speaking about when she grows up and she said: " You will be dead then!" and I asked her if she would miss me to which she replied that she would...

I think about all the blessings and gifts I have wasted and have not put to good use. One day will come when I won't have the ability, time or opportunity to make a posting.

So if one post of mine on DP has been well-recieved by anyone and given them a sense of direction then I can justify the remaining 7300 plus.

I think that is fair enough right?

PS - oh yeah.. I've made a lot of friends through DP too!

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Monday, October 20, 2008


Mehndi, Gratitude and a Ha-ha-ha

I wrote a while ago about how I was looking forward to the day I could wear Henna or Mehndi on my hands again.

guess what?

This Eid I was able to get some henna on my hands ..

OK so I didn't risk the palm, but hey it's still something :-)

I did get a telling off from mum for these pics - she said if I turned them upside-down they would be a swear.. LOL

The tranquilart butterfly or bird?

About to take off for flight!

Inspired by sunflowers or the circles of knowledge?


No No - I still have 2 hands..

This was not mine!

The 'Merry Trio' ..!

All Praises to God Almighty for the ability to wear henna on these hands again.

He gives us signs from amongst our own selves so we may stop, think and reflect.

How many gifts have we received from Him?

And how sincere have we been in using them for their true purpose?

Thank you... for Henna,
for hands,
for cameras,
for giggles,
for uploading,
for sharing,
for typing,
for seeing,
for all these and much more.

Alhamdulila Wa'l Shukr Allah.

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Wednesday, October 15, 2008


Loss of Yoga Instructor

How does one deal with the loss of someone who has helped in their healing process?

Last month I heard that whilst I was away in Yemen, one of my yoga instructors died after collapsing during a session. She was in hospital for a week or so but there was no sign of recovery, she didn’t gain consciousness.

Her name was Madhu Bhen (bhen means sister in Hindi and is used as a suffix to the name, so isn’t exactly part of the name as such). I have been attending yoga classes since last summer with a largely Asian group of women. Madhu Bhen wasn’t my usual tutor. Earlier this year, my tutor went away to India for a long break and Madhu Bhen took over from her along with her friend. She was in her mid 60s and I remember after our first session I came home to tell my family how flexible she was at her age.

She was also the one who taught me a valuable lesson:

At the end of one session she told us all to pat ourselves on the back and added: that this is because you have “taken time out for yourselves”. I almost felt like crying when she said this. It was so true. From there onwards I realised that she was right in a weird way. We do so much for others, there is little time left for us. It is only through going to yoga that I became so conscious of the value of a single breath.

After finding out about her death, I didn’t know how to react. I thought about the many people who have helped me in terms of my wellbeing.

There have been a lot of people who I have had to see in these last few years (and earlier) who said things which helped me cope with how I was feeling. For anyone who has had to see anyone regards their health, you will be familiar with the dynamics of power and trust which exist alongside the process of handing yourself over to some ‘expert’. It isn’t an easy thing and we all have varying experience of it.

In positive interaction, such relationships can yield a lot of important lessons and it is not uncommon for a gem or two to be passed by the one who you are with. I for one have received many useful pieces of advice from the various people I have had to see for health reasons. Some of this advice may sound like a random sentence or selection of words strung together but because it was said in a context of healing and wellbeing it has continued to be a source of comfort and motivation.

These are people who are not one’s friends, teachers, colleagues or family. They are close enough strangers who you trust to look after you during the period of time you are with them. On the one hand these are normal people carrying out the assigned duties in their chosen job. On the other hand amongst them are those who have higher aspirations and want to make a difference to people they interact with.

They are direct beneficiaries in the good results which come about through following their advice. And this is why the loss of such people from one’s life makes one stop and think. The Ultimate source of Healing is the Creator, but these people are the means so kindly placed in our road to wellbeing. The energy to do comes from Him, but they are people who have influenced the perception we give to that energy.

My question still stands:

How does one deal with the loss of someone who has helped in their healing process?

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Tuesday, October 07, 2008


Dowra Sharings: 5 - Advice From Habib's Mother

On the 30th of June 2008 we visited the mother of our teacher Habib Umar.


a day




an increase

in eeman,

then it's better

that the sun




this is better

than the rising

of the sun


the sun



all over



Sitting here today thinking about Hababa's advice, I feel as awe-stricken now as I did whilst sitting in front of her on that day. Indeed one of the tragic misfortunes for me as a woman is the absence of such women in my immediate world. I intend to write some thoughts on this aspect of the trip at some point. God Willing. But for now, my prayer: May God Almighty preserve our beloved teacher & give us all the opportunity to learn from her oceanic being. Amen.

Images: taken whilst returning back to the Dowra House after Asr prayers at the Dar Az-Zahra.

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Saturday, October 04, 2008


At the University of Birmingham?

An invaluable service awaits thee..

guild room 7 is the name of the blog of the Muslim Chaplains at U of B.

A fortunate place where both a male and female are available for contact.

Related URL

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