Tuesday, May 17, 2016


6 Reasons To Phone Your Spouse Daily

It has been a while since I wrote about marriage. My post was based on the answers of 28 married couples giving tips for a good marriage.

I want to focus on one specific marriage builder in this post today. I wrote about phones a way back, but the mobile phone is now a staple whether we agree with the tech culture or not. By remembering the purpose of the phone we can use it to better our communication within marriage.

Each couple has their own particular living and working arrangement; whether you are a stay at home parent, working, studying or a home maker – you will be away from your other half for a considerable period of time most days of the week! Depending on the nature of your work it may not be possible to make a phone call; an SMS or Whatsapp message will suffice in this case.

Here are 6 reasons why myself and husband think you should be calling your spouse daily:

1. Marriage is not just a worldly preoccupation in the Islamic Tradition; it is worship. It is also very hard work! By contacting each other you are strengthening communication, a lack of which is commonly blamed for marital problems. This active step towards working at your marriage and strengthening it is considered worship for which you will be rewarded by God Almighty.

2. Knowing what is happening in each other’s day helps mentally prepare you when you (or your spouse) get home. The Prophet (Peace upon him) was very mindful of people’s states and communicated with them accordingly. If you are aware of the emotional state of your spouse, it will help you support one another more readily.

3. Reconnecting helps you both understand yourselves because you recognise that your spouse is here to listen to you ie you both feel respected and appreciated because someone has time for you. Even if it is a 3 minute conversation, it illustrates that you and your spouse are investing time into your marriage. This helps self esteem.

4. Each day is littered with challenges: you may have an awkward colleague; your child may be unwell; your workload may look unrealistic; what you were cooking may not turn out like the picture in the recipe – but to know you can share that with your significant other offers reassurance. A reassurance that despite everything you and your spouse have so much to be grateful for. Anything which leads to gratitude is a good thing.
5. Contacting one another helps build companionship with your spouse; it is more than living under the same roof. In the Prophetic spirit it extends to being cheerful, generous and good to the person you are emotionally connected with. This will help maintain healthy emotional boundaries for you both and keep the romance alive.

6. Finally, the phone is very handy to let your spouse know to pick up the loaf of bread or milk you have ran out off! It can help avert an argument!

Please don't wait for your spouse to contact you. I recall Habib Ali al Jifri once said that each spouse should be trying to out-do the other in goodness within the marriage. All the best!

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