Monday, July 31, 2006


The Ultimate Caravan..


Greetings of Peace from my being x x

So here we go, in less that 12 hours we are due to meet at the airport. How do I feel?

Unlike the trivial entry I wrote a few days ago I feel very numbed down.

I have so many thoughts running through my head, that I fear the inability to comprehend clearly in this entry. Forgive me therefore my friends if much of this doesn't make sense.

My dad makes me laugh, he also makes me sense the deep responsibility that rests on the shoulders of a father.. and mother. He called me to him yesterday and said:

"Look I know you think you know everything, and everything there is to know..

But listen -
Whenever you get to Mecca, I want you to,
as soon as you see the Kabah, to make a prayer for yourself first.. and for your own health."

I looked at him puzzled and said:

"But dad you know we are taught to make a prayer asking for all our other prayers to be accepted?!"

Well -
Dad got upset and said:
"See you never listen to me, fine go ahead - spend all your time then, making prayers for others! You never listen to me!"

Sweet eh :-)

But it is the second time since knowing about the Rihla course that he has asked me to forget about the world and remember only myself.

I look at mum and dad and think to myself: how much they love unconditionally. When the world rejects me I know my folks are still there. I can argue a thousand times with them both in one day and I still know they will be there for me.

And that is why I feel even more scared about this whole course. I feel I owe it to bring back some goodness so I may relate it to them. A sense of responsibility I have towards them. I have blogged before that I never saw anyone pray in my household as a child, and the whole journey towards religion was a big step. But the first one to support me when I started prayer was my mum who said to me: "Once you start, don't stop."

Those words were the best advice anyone has ever given me regarding my prayers.

As I sit here, I think about my parents and how our bonds grew as they held my hand when we first saw the Kabah 3 years ago, as they held my hand when we gaited in the spirit of our Mother Hagar, and as they held my being when we visited the Prophets' Illuminating dwelling.

It has been a long hard 3 and a half years but essentially it has been a time for reflection and a time which has had in it alot of success for me aswell as alot of misery.. outwardly.

The ultimate caravan then is setting out two-fold. On the one hand there is the huge study element and the burden of responsibility I feel as a student. For once we know - we are more accountable. Didn't they say ignorance is a bliss?

On the other hand, I think of those 2 Holy Cities and feel literally like a beggar today.. Stripped off everything I believed defined my world. I never believed I would ever get an opportunity to study in this manner, and I never ever believed that I would go back to those Sanctuaries in this state.

So, if none of this made sense - it was not meant to.
These were, afterall, the words of a dreamer dreaming on.

Please forgive me for my many cyber and real-life errors, and please accept from me my many thanks for everything you folk have done for me. I request your prayers -

Until next time -
Fee Aman Allah, and may God Almighty protect us all.

Peace & Prayers

Bint-eh Adam x x

PS - Please spare prayers for the 6 people who kindly contributed towards half of the cost to this trip.

Related read:

Hajj Reflections -
In The City Of The Prophet

Assalamu Alaikum,

I pray that the Rihla goes well for you and that your prayers are answered, ameen.

You talk about parents having a bond of love with their children, an unconditional bond and we, as children seem not to value this.

There is also the unconditional bond of Love that the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him has with us, his Ummah but there are those of us that value this not.

Yet without His help the path is much harder to travel, so when you are in Madinah send Him countless blessings and peace....and if your health permits then take some good pictures to remind us of Makkah and Madinah and write some words that will soften our hard hearts.

May Allah illuminate your heart with the light of those blessed lands.

Salam brother and thanks for the comment.

Yes of course we have the bond with the Prophet Alaslam and that, nobody can deny - however I was referring to something specific regards parents in my entry.

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