tranquilart

Teacher: Have you thought about physical travel?

Goon: There isn't anywhere really where I could go for a long duration.

Teacher: Physical travel aids the spiritual journey.

Goon: We'll see what happens.. [thinking: my passport expires in January - gosh I can't go anywhere!]

A paraphrase of a conversation with a dear teacher before Ramadhan last year.


OPPORTUNITY TO GET AWAY-

Many months later...

An opportunity arose for me to go to Pakistan with the family and I have decided to go. I was very apprehensive at the beginning as it is not even 5 months since the earthquake which killed thousands of individuals and made scores others homeless. And the thought of going to a place where disaster has struck to enjoy yourself made little sense to me. I found it unpalatable, or perhaps I think in over-drive too much.

But then I thought about the glorious city that I was born in; this city that I live in on an island in the 'west'. How do I feel about the homeless folk who sit outside many High Street shops begging for change? Or those who sell The Big Issue standing outside in the cold, freezing at times as they know that a sale is the difference between a meal or going hungry for a little while longer? How do I feel about children growing up in poverty in Britain today? Or do I become selective in thinking that this country that I live in doesn't have issues that deserve a human consideration?

Thus I decided to say yes when my parents told me that they would also pay all my expenses.



FEELING GUILTY-

Yep.
One of the reasons was because alot of people that I love dearly told me how they would miss me. A nice gesture? Of course! But I realised soon enough that this was for me. So that I may find myself - and there was nothing wrong with that. As the teacher said, physical journeys aid the spiritual ones.

I reconciled that once I am better I will be more resourceful to both the earthquake appeal projects aswell as people around me. At the moment I feel disgustingly unhealthy and am no use to anyone. I need to become introspective and find some light.

I also found it very difficult to accept money from my parents at this age. After having spent so many years earning for myself, it felt strange to allow them to pay such a huge sum for me. However, I realised that essentially it is God Almighty who Provides and all others are a means to that providence. Having only made an application for benefits after not receiving any further sick pay for 5 months I could not really argue or refuse my parents' kindness. I think there comes a point in every human situation where one is strained so much that they don't have the energy or will-power to fight. An example was the tidying up saga - remember that? Took me 8 months to start tidying my room, and I had to accept the mess. Together with the understanding that it is God Almighty who will give the ability to tidy it.

Similarly in regards my bank account falling to what used to be a typical fortnights' wage, I cannot be bothered to argue with myself or worry myself crazy about it. I know that what goes up will come down. And what is down today will tomorrow be up. This is the way of the world. One day we have good health - the next day it is poor - and then it is good once again as if there never was a spell of illness.

Some believe that this is part of what submitting to God Almighty is all about; accepting as opposed to fighting the situation.



COMMUNICATION-

My teacher also said:

>The best way to communicate is without a phone or email and so
>getting rid of them will be an aid to communication inshallah.

I told him I would not be taking my mobile phones or accessing email too often and his response was very reassuring. I believe that to return to true communication ie the communication with the One - we need to make the shift from the electronics to the spiritual.

Both my telephones will be disconnected after we leave and I shall re-activate them upon my return. Soz folks I apologise... I'm not going to be available till the end of April, InshaAllah.

I won't be accessing my emails or the internet too often - perhaps a few times in the entire time out there.. unless there is an emergency.



BLOG-

I won't be blogging either. Soz again folks.



PHOTOGRAPHY-

And no pictures. Soz yet again.

I toured Pakistan twice before and photographed it as much as my heart's contentment with my kodaks ;-)

I discussed this with a close friend who jetted off to Egypt last week and we both agreed that perhaps this is the time for me to do other things that I wouldn't otherwise get to do eg my writing(?) as in pencil to paper?


THANKS-

I would like to thank everyone. Yes Everyone.

Thank you.


APOLOGIES-

Sorry folks for every time I have failed to follow your advise to me.
My apologies to you who I ignored; I was not well that day.

I apologise for having offended anyone out there.


A YEAR ON?

Life is strange.

I have seen the four seasons from my room this year - but at the same time Life is unpredictably kind to me.

I sat and was thinking the other day.. hasn't life actually been so so nice to me?

Hasn't it allowed me to do things I really wanted to do? Well yes it has: I always wanted to go to the Sacred Sanctity- and God Almighty made it possible for me to perform my Hajj.

OK, so today my finances are not good, but at least I have purified my wealth by having set Tranquilart as a non-profit initiative. Although the future of Tranquilart will perhaps be a business-oriented one.

And at least I knew what my dream job was, and worked within it. God Almighty gave me the opportunity to enjoy it. I ask myself: Isn't that something to be joyous and merry about?


I am off and until next time, Fee Aman Allah :-)

May the Blessings of God Almighty be upon all x x x

Regards and Salutations of Peace from Camel-Land!
Wasalam, duas & love

Bint-eh Adam

*The artwork you could see is my recent work, working on the theme of 'Finding God'.