Saturday, October 01, 2005
Girls & Make-up
Salam Folks!
‘How true’ I thought, as I reached out for my bottle of foundation to cover what I describe as the “sickly yellow” colour of my face. If I didn’t cover it with “colour” I’d get even more comments from people about how “unwell” I’m looking. Luckily the false colour adds an element of “healthiness” to my face.
This is not about the rights and wrongs of wearing make-up and if anyone wants to read about that, I suggest they use the search engine to get what they require. There is ample written on this and other issues pertaining to women; by both male and female scholars. Neither am I an advocate of wearing make-up.
My reason for this entry is in reference to the opening comments by my two friends. I know both of them well and for some period of time too.
I also know that they are both dealing with a series of issues that fate has given them; and they try their best to seek out solutions which would be most pleasing to God Almighty.
Hamdun al-Qassar. A companion of the Prophet Alaislam.
Full text could be found at the link in the end of the blog.
I will say it how it is:
We are often taught that we are the ‘Ambassadors of God’ and yes it is very true that we are the ambassadors. And I guess if the ambassador is a woman who wears a scarf, then she is more explicitly a representative of Islam. However what strikes me is the following question:
What does the ambassador do when she is having a bad day?
Or does she continue to wear it and pray that the wider community (who one can only assume are having a good day) will forgive her shortcomings?
Can she honestly be made to feel safe and accepted by people around her?
Of course the answer to the above is not to remove the scarf.
But it also is not for the community to start judging her.
One of them (whom I have known for over 5 years) ran away from home whilst I was out at Hajj. The community decided to close the doors to her and although her children visit the father, she is not allowed to visit her own parents.
I can only pray that God Almighty brings about a Sisterhood which truly bonds us women together with no fear of being judged.
I have mentioned this before and I will say it again – one of the saddest tragedies in our community is the loss of Sisterhood. And I mean REAL sisterhood – not your phoney-maloney sisterhood where you go shopping and buy each other expensive gifts. And then if you say one thing ‘out of line’ you are never spoken to ever again. Or if you can’t quote the Top Ten Scholars and fail to provide evidence of having attended every gathering in the last 3 months - you are no longer in the circle. To me there is more to it than that.
Sisterhood is not about what you know about the ‘other’ - but rather what you don’t know. For someone to accept me (as their sister) without knowing much about me than for someone to reject me from their circle after finding out about me is not how I define sisterhood.
As my brother often says: “If you could see God, what would be the point in worshipping Him?”
Would it take for people to know me inside-out for them to accept me into their Sisterhood?
I must admit some of the greatest friends I have made in these many months know very little about me. I mean the ‘real me’ - not what is readily available on the internet (which obviously I have chosen to share with people and thus is rather selective or could even be a pack of lies – had my mother of course taught me how to lie!)
Hamdun al-Qassar. A companion of the Prophet Alaislam.
Readings:
70 Excuses?
Modern Living & Spirituality
How To Look After Your Heart
How To Look After Others' Heart
Good Night & God Bless
Bint-eh Adam
xx
Mashallah! Jazak allah khair for sharing your views and writing about this specific topic. This is something that is so common in the community we live in and I totally agree with what you said about the loss of "real"sisterhood.
"Sisterhood is not about what you know about the ‘other’ - but rather what you don’t know. For someone to accept me (as their sister) without knowing much about me than for someone to reject me from their circle after finding out about me is not how I define sisterhood." Beautifully expressed! This is something we as "sister's" need to reflect and implement and create a real "sisterhood" within our community.
Wasalams
Sidra
: Sunday, October 02, 2005 4:25:00 pm 
FOR SIDRA:
Yes it is a sad old shame that we are forgetting the essence of Sisterhood. In reality a strong Sisterhood is absolutely vital for our wellbeing as girls - whatever our age.
Women are forgetting that they are the ones who were traditionally the 'comforters' and 'carers' - Women have a lot of strengths built-in inside themselves - that's why they were so successful at bringing peace and security to their communities. Sadly today we see women at a loss wherever they are.
We need Sisterhood for women to actualise themselves. Women can no longer see their strengths - we need the spirit of Sisterhood to help us see in clarity!
Wsalam
xx
Well thanks for popping by sugarplum. Yes do visit again - I do like visitors :-)and many thanks for the lovely comment.
Gosh my lovely, some of your comments could really do with a reply from our dear-old Deidre!
In terms of the girls you mention you find hard to love - I believe one has to look deep within to discover the reasons for this barrier. Rather than ask why do you find it hard to love? Lets ask why do you find it easier to hate? Think about that as you eat grapes one evening.
And then the example of "crossing the line" is indeed a good one. We often have our own set of principles and that is well and good as we need them to define what we can accept and reject (obviously God ALmighty is the One who sets the Framework in which we develop our principles). But I think what is difficult is to really know why people do what they do. To know what makes people cut their wrists or take drugs is how one can "reach" why people do what they do. But often it is very difficult.
I am not saying we need to abandon 'limits' for these are set by God Almighty - do we actually have the guts to abandon or even say abandon them - of course not love! What I am saying is not to judge! And to implement the "70 Excuses" rule!
Also my lovely, don't be so harsh on yourself - you are only 20 by the looks of your profile.. a very young age. As life goes by, you will meet a lot of people who are very 'different' to you. It is only through meeting all those different people that you will realise how similar we are essentially!
Let your spirit develop. ALso my girl, it may be a little investment to spend some time daily with yourself. I know it sounds wonderfully joyous :-D But just take 10 minutes and analyse YOU.
An excellent activity which was taught by a German Teacher Ahmed Von Denfer.. is to sit down every night and imagine the Day of Judgment has arrived.. OK I will let you guess the rest.
OK That's another close encounter with the 'Dear Deidre' column so I shall need to get going.
I shall visit your place soon!
Salam & Love sugarplum
xx
Oh, I also like who you put this cool pictures next to your thoughts.
Walaikumslam x x
No Poppie Bhaji-Jaani - Most belong to the teenager in our household ;-)
I think she collects them ;-)
LOL
x x x
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