Friday, May 05, 2006


Pakistan Journal

Many people have requested that I share my Pakistani Journal with them.

Unfortunately, unlike the Granada Journal I wrote, my Pakistani one is not the same. I didn't actively walk around with a book and pen!

I perhaps mentioned to someone in the Comments section once that I have a Private Journal too. A book I was gifted by a dear friend two years ago as a Birthday present. It was the first time I started writing my thoughts in a book. I never kept a diary as a child because I didn't want to talk to a book. I also never understood what degree of 'open-ness' was required with bound sheets of paper. I mean what if I lied in the diary? Would I be lying to myself? Or what if someone read it? I would get embarrassed and go all red. Also, how much background information was needed in a diary? I couldn't understand it - so I left it.

When I was given the Journal, I decided that I would write what I felt and that it didn't matter if there was no background or detail in it. It was afterall for me; I didn't need to explain anything to myself!

So every now and again I write, sometimes a few times per week, and sometimes an entry every season :~) And it helps me alot in dealing with how I am feeling at that time.

My Journal sits on my shelf and is therefore easily available for anyone coming into my room. And I have never felt that my privacy would be invaded if someone were to read it; simply because there is no detail - just words. I often think that for those who read it - it would only be like reading words. Would they really understand why I wrote what I did and after what event? In a way it is similar to us humans; do people really understand what they read in us? Or are they only reading the exterior?

Whilst in Pakistan I made 8 entries in the Journal. I doubt very much that you, the reader will gain anything from reading them. And in all frankness I was somewhat embarrassed in sharing these as the manner in which they are written is not how I write my blog. Don't forget whilst writing my blog - I write it for an audience. My Journal is for myself on the other hand :o)

I hope that by reading the entries you will come to realise that the people we read about in these blogs have totally random thoughts too. And if you don't understand what you read - don't worry, you weren't meant to!

Peace & Prayers
Bint-eh Adam

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