Friday, September 30, 2005


Dear Deidre... ;o)

I recently received an email from a beloved who seems to be rather perplexed about an issue at present. After reading her concern I realised how terribly common: I'd crossed that path not long ago. In fact truth be told I see that I am still crossing it!

So I hope she doesn't mind, I will submit her opening question here for I believe that it may benefit others, although the details of her email are not disclosed. It's right time we started to accept that we have common experiences which we share and that the human beings contain within them masses of information and experiential advise! Finally we should embody the Message of Brotherhood and Sisterhood upon which early Muslims based thier lives.

"None of you truly believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself."

A saying of the Messenger of God Almighty.

I was taught to look Heavanwards for it is only from there that the Rose is thrown. Pic by Bint-eh Adam.

"I have been thinking a lot lately about life and dreams. I wanted to ask you guys…does one dream, imagine and hope for things more when they are young?
Is it just an age thing do you think? Have you all gone through this? Or is it because I have too much time on my hands, I just sit and contemplate on these things? I just feel as if my life is at a standstill nowadays, its going nowehere and I have no idea how to turn that around!! I feel so useless."

OK so I have a handful of white hairs so that qualifies me for 'old age' and I guess the wrinkles and lines are not far from me either :-/

My other credentials include knowing a lot of OLD PEOPLE [some I dare say are in their 60s and 70s] so I guess Daughter of Adam feels quite confident to answer this question.

My own belief is that one needs to dream. Since you were kind to ask me, I shall give you what I have been blessed to have learnt:

Dreams are what keep human beings motivated to aspire towards attaining certain goals in their life. A goal is very individual; and differs from person to person. Similarly each individuals' goal will be encapsulated within time.

Therefore my goal at the moment may not be to establish myself as an artist, it may be to manage my pain. Another one of my goals may be to read a certain book.

These are obviously very simplified goals and one may hardly call them 'dreams' if they are not in the shoes of the person 'dreaming' - as I said our goals are very individualistic!

It is sad that nowadays we only like to associate the 'bigger' wants and desires as 'dreams'.

In reality all these little goals are in actual fact dreams, for behind them are hidden deeper motivations and ambitions, which will ultimately lead to a spirit feeling more fulfilled here on earth.

As I said earlier dreams are what keep us going. It is often said that those who have fell into 'insanity' no longer dream. In fact if one were to speak to those who have had depressive illnesses one would discover that when a 'depression' takes over the mind, one finds it difficult to want, hope or long for anything in life - one stops 'dreaming'.

So the fact that you, my beloved friend dream for things in life is a sign of a healthy you!

Of course one thing that Tradition teaches us against is extremism. And this also applies in the case of dreaming.

One should never forget the Reality of this world which is explained thoroughly in the Holy Text aswell as manifested beautifully in the Life of the Beloved of God Almighty (Alaislam). Furthermore it is also shown to us in the lives of Great Lovers of God who have lived before us aswell as those who are alive today and serve to live their lives and their dreams in equilibrium.

The understanding I took from the Quran was that we are shown a two-fold vision of life: On the one hand we are taught to 'work hard' in this life and enjoy the 'bounties of God'. And on the other hand we are taught about a fast-approaching next life. Thus ones' vision whilst dreaming and hoping for things should be acheived in this balanced approach to life.

In regards feeling "useless" my young friend you need to use the Energy you have in tasks which will inevitably lessen the useless feelings to a "useful" feeling. This can be done very easily. And one of the bestest ways is by "giving" - it is a proven fact [from my understanding of life] that those who 'give' succeed in battling their uselessness.

I shall give you a couple of exmples of where you could give:

1. School - yes believe it or not, most (primary) schools would love just 2 hours of help from an 'educated' person with good morals and manners. There is a chronic shortage of teachers in the UK at present and most schools have so much red tape that I wonder sometimes why they even bother putting displays up with blu-tak! You could very easily approach your local school and assist within the 'Reading Hour' or generally help the classroom teacher lighten her load. Wasn't it a teaching of the Prophet to help one another?

Don't forget that you have been fortunate to be amongst those adults who are literate and that there are thousands who cannot read or write in this world. It would be great to "put back" into the community a little of what you have.

2. Hospitals - a lot of young peoples' hospitals are always looking for volunteers. Some hospitals have Radio stations and others have other activity clubs which are always short of volunteers! Imagine making a childs' stay at hospital a little happier?

These are just two very quick examples I have come up with - but the worlds' your oyster! You could do anything you like!

And you must believe that. Almost every dream comes true - if you hold on that bit longer.

You could fly!!! .. if you really believed in yourself.

So in a nutshell:

step 1 - be happy for recognising your concerns
step 2 - our dreams keep us going - so never stop dreaming
step 3 - work towards acheiving a dream/reality balance: read the Quran and look into the lives of the exemplars of it
step 4 - volunteer 2-4 hours a week into a public organisation

Finally Remember that it is beyond our realm of control to put any dream into Reality. That is the Work of God - and for that you shall require Trust in Him.

Well my lovely I hope that helped you - I'm off to put some rollers in my hair and take my false teeth out of the cupboard as I need to eat :-D

God Bless
Wasalam, love and duas

Peace & Prayers
Bint-eh Adam with a hint of Deidre ;-)

Wa alaykum as salaam Sis :)

I was just blog-surfing and found yours by conincidence. I liked one particular entry about fasting and decided to link to you, inshaAllah this is okies?

You're welcome to email me for more info :)

Take care and don't dream too much!

Wa salaam!
Salam dear

ooh - so now I see who you are *cough* X *cough* A fellow DP'er :-D

There is no such thing as a coincidence in life dearest of sugarplums! Nothing happens by chance! Individuals are Guided to meet others through Divine Guidance alone.

The fasting thing - ooh yes - I will be popping the Ramadhan Thoughts on which is the only link at present in my link section on the LHS!

In regards dreaming - may I echoe to you the advise of our Deidre who says we should dream, but all things in moderation :~)

We need to dream.

Wasalam apple-pie xx
Growing old is inevitable..growing up is optional....Taslim Love you lots in this mind of mine.
Miss Molly xx
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